I remember 5 years ago today and Shane had just finished his first round of chemo. We were inpatient and it was the first time I had to spend time away from the kids for Shane’s cancer journey.
This picture is the one we took when Shane (and I) finally came home.
We were obviously unaware of the national significance of the day…#nationalsiblingday.
Will spent the earlier part of the week pointing Shane out in pictures around our house. He has a word for him, but it’s more of a noise at the moment. It’s the same tone and unfortunately I can’t translate it…yet. His favorite was the picture of our family at Disney World. It hangs on our fridge. He asks for me to lift him up, so he can point Shane out.
He also eats his meals and looks up at the picture of all of them (second pic). He points to everyone and says their name, including the word he has for Shane.
I think of how unfair it is to Will to never know his big brother, Shane. How will this affect him as he grows up? There are so many questions and even more obstacles for us to jump.
For now, I am proud of my kids for the bond they share. The good, the bad, the loving moments, the yelling, the wrestling, the endless nerf gun battles that always end in tears, the good night hugs, the soccer lessons in the backyard, the stories shared and so much more.
I grew up an only child. All I ever wanted was to have my kids to have each other. I cherish it. I know what’s missing and unfortunately they do too.

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