Day 30

Today is the last day of childhood cancer awareness month. As you know, it’s everyday for our family and so many other families across the globe. We don’t need a designated month to know how unfair a childhood cancer diagnosis can be.
On Tuesday, March 24, 2014, Shane was sedated for the first of many times, to undergo an MRI. Paul and I weren’t completely convinced that Shane had cancer at this point. We were not allowed to be with Shane during the MRI, just a kiss good-bye as he was wheeled away under the influence of versed so he could tolerate the test.
During that time, I met with the urologist. More blood tests were ordered and I wanted to know the outcome. Everything was clean. No changes, no other indicators of disease. We both discussed it and I had convinced myself that he was suffering from an autoimmune disease since they can be unique and difficult to diagnose.
I returned before Shane came back and shared the conversation I had with the doctor to Paul. We left the hospital in high spirits.
At 4 p.m. my cell phone rang. Paul answered it. He answered all the horrible calls. The ones telling us news we couldn’t stand to hear. He looked like someone punched him the face. He repeated the words the doctor told him on the phone. I lost it. I don’t think I’ve ever been so out of control of my own self. I’m not even sure I remember how I came down from that moment.
The next day we arrived in the surgical center waiting room. Shane was scheduled for a biopsy to confirm his type of cancer.
My baby had cancer.
We sat in a waiting room filled with circular tables with chairs. We sat and waited until the woman in charge came to update us on Shane and his procedure.
He was in recovery. The doctor wanted to talk with us. They biopsied the lymph node, etc. It came up blue. It was in fact cancer.
We spent our first night on the oncology floor that night as Shane recovered from his procedure. It was my first of many nights there by myself without my family. The first of many nights where others had to prepare Chase and Ella for school. putting them to bed, waking them up, preparing breakfast, making their lunch, etc.
So, yes when your child is diagnosed with cancer, it affects your whole family. It changes everything.
*Note: Any missing dates for the month of September are posted on our FB page:

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