September 22nd

I was thinking about what to write about today and Ella reminded me of what it should be about.

Children grieve too. I’ve mentioned this. 
The problem is people don’t always listen. The truth is my kids have been through more than I ever wanted them to. What I’m learning about both of them is that their grief is changing as they grow.

What we do know about their grief is like us, they want to talk about Shane and they want people to talk to them about Shane. Not all the time, but when they mention his name they don’t want to see people flinch or get uncomfortable. It’s a hard balance to have to explain to a 9 and 5 year old.

We are all aware that back in the day, people didn’t talk about losing someone. Some people never mentioned it again. Again, we have seen statistics of the effects of not talking about feelings associated with a lost one and how impactful it could be to one’s future.

This is why the PACT team and our child life specialist is so important. Kelly has allowed our children to express their feelings, not just through words, but stories, picture boards and experiments.

She has introduced the kids to two different books, “The Invisible String” and “My Yellow Balloon.” I would highly recommend them to someone who is struggling to speak to their child about losing someone.

Tonight, Ella asked me to read “My Yellow Balloon.” I wasn’t surprised. I could tell she was needing to hear it. She started a new school and has some hesitations. She finds comfort in having Shane and thoughts of him around her.

I read the book. On the last pages are pictures of balloons with names of people lost. She asked if we could go downstairs and draw Shane’s balloon. So, we did.

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One Comment on “September 22nd

  1. The invisible string is a great book for children. It really helped my niece when we lost my son Scot to Rhabdo as well. I admire you for helping to bring awareness to childhood cancer but specifically Rhabdomyosarcoma. Thank you! I know how hard it is. Just take it one day at a time.

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