“Time of year” is continuous and cyclical. Its grief squeezing the breath out of me. It’s mostly hidden, but ever present.
The holidays are over and time slows a bit. I feel like I’m drowning in thoughts, memories, all painful and wishful. I worry over things I can’t control. Hello grief. Hello anxiety. Thanks for waking my winter night’s dreams.
We get through an event or significant time, we exhale for maybe a week or two and then BAM! It starts all over again.
This time of year hits me harder than any other. So many things changed during this time. Even after 4 years, I can close my eyes and vividly remember with stabbing pain in my chest those moments I can barely believe we got through.

Research is the key. We are so grateful for our partnership and that Shane’s tumors cells have assisted in pushing forward a clinical trial.
It’s honestly the best gift we ever gave and one we never had to think twice about.

via: https://www.facebook.com/thechildhoodcancerproject/photos/a.460857917581173/800619860271642/?type=3&theater
The Childhood Cancer Project is proud to support the work of Dr. Charles Keller and The Children’s Cancer Therapy Development Institute’s Legacy Autopsy program.
The Legacy Autopsy was created to enable parents of children with cancer to donate tumor tissue to research. The cc-TDI team and The Childhood Cancer Project believe that this kind of research will be field-changing, especially for rare childhood cancers for which cell lines and mouse models do not exist, and for which functional studies have never before been performed.
“The decision to donate our son’s tumors to research continues to give us hope. It allows us to fight for our son and so many others until a cure is found.”
— Shane’s parents
A huge thank you to everyone who has supported The Childhood Cancer Project, without you we couldn’t support so many families and the cc-TDI Legacy Autopsy Program.

For a bereaved parent, each new year draws us further from the one we lost.
2019 will mark 4 years since Shane passed. It’s heartbreaking to realize we have been living without him for that long.
But, we move forward with him by our side.
He is remembered each and every day by us. I know Paul and I have done the best for our children when they can openly speak of their brother, laugh at the memories, cry at the moments lost, but always feel his love and presence within them and around them.
We want them to live forward with Shane as their guide.
They are proud of the legacy Shane has left. His tumors have brought forth amazing research and we have assisted in research and helped families faced with similar circumstances. All at our own pace. We balance our life, our family and Shane’s legacy in a healthy balance.
Thank you for continuing Shane’s legacy with us. May 2019 bring more remarkable movements forward in the fight against alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma.
Cheers!

Thank you to Jennie Rose, Amanda Seguinot, Lorac Nedgo and Deborah Pann for your generous donations.
The Target Cuthbert Blvd made an incredible $500 gift card donation to the CHOP PACT team on behalf of Shane’s Future Days. Thank you for supporting the PACT families and issuing these gift cards in Shane’s name❤️
We had an incredible holiday gift drive season for 2018. None of this would be possible without all of you. Thank you for your support and remembering our sweet Shane.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year you you and yours!
Love,
Paul, Michele, Chase, Ella, Shane and Will