Last year I approached September as a cleansing of thoughts in terms of our cancer journey with Shane. There are certain topics as we move forward that come to mind. These will come in time within the month. Some are difficult and others uplifting.
Heading into the holiday weekend, I will begin with this:
Everyone’s experience with cancer is different. Some stories have happy endings and others not so happy. People may look at our story as sad. It is. We are incredibly proud of our efforts to move forward and continue to keep Shane with us.
Death is not an easy topic for many. I see the look in people’s faces, new and close, when I mention his name or our situation. This is apart of us.
It’s important for us to speak of him and for our children to be comfortable to mention their brother, Shane.
Studies have shown that the traumatic loss of a sibling can lead to many difficulties in adulthood in terms of physical and mental health. The stats are unnerving.
I was given some great advice from an old friend who unknown to me went through this journey with her sibling. It was a gift to have this advice and I can’t truly ever express how much it meant to me.
I will never forget our clinic visit the first time after we returned from Boston. Everyone at CHOP had been briefed on our meeting. They knew, we really KNEW the reality of our situation and the outcome for Shane. Our social worker approached me with care and asked what we needed. I replied: “I need help preparing Chase and Ella.”
Paul and I share the common goal in life to make sure that our children come first. They are our everything. All the practices, school work and their interests in general are our main priority.
I mean isn’t that why you choose to be parents?